depress

I think i'm entering a stage of depression. Not exactly that serious if i can even write about it, cos I'm still sane enough to do so..

Most of the time now, I find myself staring at the screen like what I'm doing now. Searching and browsing through the web looking for jobs, news and updates. Asking myself what am I searching for and what am I doing now. Yesh, I'm not in real need of money due to the 6 tuitions I have on hand, but the thought of what will be my career is a reality that I have to face. Obviously there are many jobs in the market now, and ppl, pls stop asking me why I'm still not employed or emphasise that how come so long liao still looking for it. I know that, and it's not that I'm sitting there doing nothing, it's just the industry I'm applying to is harder to get in.

Gone for interviews, got accepted by some, got rejected by some. But I have accepted none so far. Yest went for an applitude test, and I did well enough to pass it to qualify for the 2nd rd interview, but my feelings tell me that colour blind will be an issue, and so I called to check.. True to my belief, the HR manager advice me not to carry on persuing this even though I had an impressive result from the test, simply because I'm unlikely to pass the medical due to colour blind. Truth hurts.. it hurts even more, when I think that this job is something that I will enjoy and like. This is not the first time colour blindness ( partial ), as gotten in my way... sadly there's nothing I could do to it. If only the colour blindness gene doesn't lie on a single X chromosome, or it doesn't exhibit the trait unless there's two strands. ( I wish... )

I could have tried to go for the medical but I may still jeopardise other ppl's life if the situation arises. Guess ppl always prefer to play safe than sorry. There's a plentiful amount of qualified applicants waiting, why would they risk me.

I've not shared much of my thoughts recently, partly cos I don't know what to say.. Never have the habit of talking about sad things, and it's usually swallowed by the waves that clashes onto the beach whenever I sit there. Guess there's where I'll head to now..