It's finally here.
I'm living and breathing the air of KL for real.
Reached here on Wed late night 1am, opening the door of my apartment. Opening a door to a room of darkness. The feeling is surreal. The reality sets in that I'm all alone here fending for myself. I believe that I have no problem staying alone, as I've always being self sufficient. But there is a thin line between alone and lonely.
The feeling when you open a door and there's no life inside isn't exactly that nice. Somehow I miss the days where I open the door to see mum sitting there watching TV. Yes, it's only being day 2 and that's the feeling I got.
Having a space all to myself is a good thing, something that has been missing in my life for the past few years. Studies, tuition, work, training etc. I guess I overloaded myself to a certain extent, but it was indeed fufiling. Now here with a new lease of life and a brand new start, I shall find my own balance and enjoy the life here. For life in KL, there's nothing for me after work and it's up to me how I want to spend it. First thing on my mind, is to resume the recereational activities that I used to enjoy. Snooker, Running/Swimming, top 3 priorty at the moment. I aim to lead a healthy lifestyle here and that means no liquor and late night supper.
Next, upgrading of my limited skills which includes Microsoft excel, Photoshop, Bridge as well as new skills such as Piano if the teacher wanna accepts a 25yr old stiffy fingers student. It's a lofty ambition to learn that now, but well the saying goes " Never too late to do anything " isn't it?
With this entry, it'll be the beginning of this blog's revival. I will disconnect myself from facebook very soon because of the large number of Msia colleagues that have me on it. I do not want them to know my life here due to privacy. It's different when you are in a superior position. People gossips behind you. So the best is to leave minimal things for them to talk about. I hate office politics and I shall minimize it.
Cheers
Zee ( I'm back )
Friday, November 4, 2011
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Relocation to KL
I'm going to be relocated to KL.
Soon.. maybe in less than a month's time. I thought deep and hard about this and eventually I decided that it was worth a try. Definitely, I will leave behind many things here and the closest to me would always be the hardest to leave. What would the exact date be? I'm not sure yet. I'm due to start working on the KL stuffs be 16th Sept, so the time frame would be anytime from then onwards.
Over the past year of work, life has transformed quite a bit for me. Many of the friends have been busy with their own life and moved on. My routine is still pretty much the same, just a bit less disciplined that what I had previously. No longer am I training 5-6 days a week, 3 days week is considered good now. I'm sparing a bit more time to meet up with dear and occasionally meeting up with some friends.
As life going on, you will realise who are the ones who will consciously make an effort to keep in contact. I used to be the one who does that, but now busy and a little tired, has rarely done any linking up. I'm glad that there are still some who still remembers me. Being able to meet up at times rekindles some of the fond moments we previously shared. Some practises such as gift exchange has carried on with the 2 of you, and I treasure that. Thanks. =)
Going back to my relocation.. I was being told about the possible relocation sometime back, and I had to make a decision. If the relocation package is good, there wouldn't have been so much trouble deciding. But the issue was that it simply wasn't that appealing. So why did I still want to take it up?
The package offered a slight increment, with lodging paid, car provided for and transport claims available. But the increment doesn't really justify the sacrifices I have to make to uproot myself from the comfort zone of family and friends here. Moreover, I will be shifting into an unknown territory, where language is an issue (They speak a lot of canto), and the working mentality is so much more different. Comparing a shift to HK and KL, the contrast is vast. It's like shifting into a third world city... well not exactly that "third world", but still the system is so messy, the roads are dirty, traffic is very bad, air is not that clean.
That being said, all seems so negative and why am I still going? What's the one thing positive that overwrites all these concern?
Opportunity to learn.
Within a year of work, I've changed several job profile, and picked up many new traits and skills along the way. This time round, I'm heading over the KL as Retail and Marketing Manager to head a team of marketing/ reps/ branch managers. I'm really curious what is the thing they see in me, that gives them so much confidence to put me in this role after a short stint of one year. I know I am capable of doing things, but this is really out of my expertise and I'm not confident of delivering.
I'm still young and at the same time green. Working isn't always just about money and at times you won't know what you lose out until you try it. So is it all worthwhile? I don't know. I'll know it when everything is over and back in Singapore.
Soon.. maybe in less than a month's time. I thought deep and hard about this and eventually I decided that it was worth a try. Definitely, I will leave behind many things here and the closest to me would always be the hardest to leave. What would the exact date be? I'm not sure yet. I'm due to start working on the KL stuffs be 16th Sept, so the time frame would be anytime from then onwards.
Over the past year of work, life has transformed quite a bit for me. Many of the friends have been busy with their own life and moved on. My routine is still pretty much the same, just a bit less disciplined that what I had previously. No longer am I training 5-6 days a week, 3 days week is considered good now. I'm sparing a bit more time to meet up with dear and occasionally meeting up with some friends.
As life going on, you will realise who are the ones who will consciously make an effort to keep in contact. I used to be the one who does that, but now busy and a little tired, has rarely done any linking up. I'm glad that there are still some who still remembers me. Being able to meet up at times rekindles some of the fond moments we previously shared. Some practises such as gift exchange has carried on with the 2 of you, and I treasure that. Thanks. =)
Going back to my relocation.. I was being told about the possible relocation sometime back, and I had to make a decision. If the relocation package is good, there wouldn't have been so much trouble deciding. But the issue was that it simply wasn't that appealing. So why did I still want to take it up?
The package offered a slight increment, with lodging paid, car provided for and transport claims available. But the increment doesn't really justify the sacrifices I have to make to uproot myself from the comfort zone of family and friends here. Moreover, I will be shifting into an unknown territory, where language is an issue (They speak a lot of canto), and the working mentality is so much more different. Comparing a shift to HK and KL, the contrast is vast. It's like shifting into a third world city... well not exactly that "third world", but still the system is so messy, the roads are dirty, traffic is very bad, air is not that clean.
That being said, all seems so negative and why am I still going? What's the one thing positive that overwrites all these concern?
Opportunity to learn.
Within a year of work, I've changed several job profile, and picked up many new traits and skills along the way. This time round, I'm heading over the KL as Retail and Marketing Manager to head a team of marketing/ reps/ branch managers. I'm really curious what is the thing they see in me, that gives them so much confidence to put me in this role after a short stint of one year. I know I am capable of doing things, but this is really out of my expertise and I'm not confident of delivering.
I'm still young and at the same time green. Working isn't always just about money and at times you won't know what you lose out until you try it. So is it all worthwhile? I don't know. I'll know it when everything is over and back in Singapore.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Decision
What is happening?
I don't know.
What I feared did come true, and I don't like it. What steps am I taking next? What is the more appropriate step?
Somehow I'm pretty cool headed about it, just like my usual self, but I'll be kidding myself if I say I'm not affected. How can I be unaffected, when I'm an emotionally attached person. Perhaps it's cause of the things that has been happened before, I'm more prepared for it.
I really don't know if I can take it.
Decision doesn't just lie with me.
Decision doesn't just lie with me.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Emo post
It's being more than a month since the last post. Just a little update on what has been happening.
Work:
I've been travelling about between Penang and Batam so often that I'm getting sick of it. Travelling alone gives me ample time to ponder and consider what I really want and enjoy the freedom that comes along with it. However, with every positive thing comes a negative part. Simply put it.. Being alone and lonely is the same thing, only difference is how you perceive it. Perplex is the word to describe how I'm feeling and I'm actually feeling rather lost recently. Am I enjoying the work? I don't think so. Am I suffering there? I don't think so. But I'm really getting tons of opportunities to try out and liberty for me to execute what I want to do. Personally, I feel I have not achieved what I want to do and I'm at a loss of what I can do to make it better. That feeling sucks.. Totally.
I've being getting along very well with one colleague and that's partly causing me to feel slightly better within the company. Really... colleague-colleague working relationship plays a major role in work. However, the rest of them? I feel it's really too cliche. colleague and nothing more. It's sad, but that's work life. From the way I'm working now, I know I'm not putting in 100% and that's no good and I don't feel fully utilised. But that leads me to another thing. What am I really good at? I've asked myself that recently and I can't answer it.. how sad. You don't know what you are good at and you don't know where you will excel? Living day by day as it passes.
The clock is ticking, the age is catching up.. Every second gone is every second wasted. You have such high dreams and are you taking any steps to get closer to it?
Others:
Sometimes things can get a bit mundane. And it is up to individual to spice it up. If you think it's boring, it WILL be boring. If you think it can be fun, it WILL be fun. Which side do you stand on?
Humans:
It's only natural for us to sought for like minded people, cos we click together well. It's more easy going as we don't have to accomodate much to them as they are like us, basically it makes us feel more at ease and comfortable. Birds of the same feathers flock together and that's so true.
Personal:
I feel I've reached the same stage as I was in a couple of years ago. I feel that similar things are on-going on my side. I feel that things may not turn out that smoothly eventually. There are a lot of differences and there are some unhappiness which has never been mentioned. Can it really remain submerged all the way? Or would it be like the magma hiding under the crust of the volcano? I fear for it.
I thought I was ready for it. But some things made me feel otherwise. Can I live with it? Perhaps so, because it seem all so well so far. Will I be happy with it? Perhaps... well.. maybe not.. in the long run.
I think I need time..
A lot of time for myself.. just to sit down and think about nothing..
I haven't been getting that for a long while. Even when I'm alone, my iPhone is accompanying me. never really alone... just like now. Many a times, it is because you don't get enough attention from someone/things, you spend your time searching for it as replacement elsewhere.
Importance:
What is important to me? It is clear to me what are my priorities when it comes to management of time. What is important to you? It doesn't seem that clear to me, and at times it seems it isn't balance. When one puts in 100%, the very least that is expected is 85% I suppose. It can be felt, believe it or not. When it comes naturally or when you need it and then call upon it.
At times I don't know how to talk about it. It's just weird. I've been more vocal at work, but I've become quieter away from work. A tradeoff that just happened?
Work:
I've been travelling about between Penang and Batam so often that I'm getting sick of it. Travelling alone gives me ample time to ponder and consider what I really want and enjoy the freedom that comes along with it. However, with every positive thing comes a negative part. Simply put it.. Being alone and lonely is the same thing, only difference is how you perceive it. Perplex is the word to describe how I'm feeling and I'm actually feeling rather lost recently. Am I enjoying the work? I don't think so. Am I suffering there? I don't think so. But I'm really getting tons of opportunities to try out and liberty for me to execute what I want to do. Personally, I feel I have not achieved what I want to do and I'm at a loss of what I can do to make it better. That feeling sucks.. Totally.
I've being getting along very well with one colleague and that's partly causing me to feel slightly better within the company. Really... colleague-colleague working relationship plays a major role in work. However, the rest of them? I feel it's really too cliche. colleague and nothing more. It's sad, but that's work life. From the way I'm working now, I know I'm not putting in 100% and that's no good and I don't feel fully utilised. But that leads me to another thing. What am I really good at? I've asked myself that recently and I can't answer it.. how sad. You don't know what you are good at and you don't know where you will excel? Living day by day as it passes.
The clock is ticking, the age is catching up.. Every second gone is every second wasted. You have such high dreams and are you taking any steps to get closer to it?
Others:
Sometimes things can get a bit mundane. And it is up to individual to spice it up. If you think it's boring, it WILL be boring. If you think it can be fun, it WILL be fun. Which side do you stand on?
Humans:
It's only natural for us to sought for like minded people, cos we click together well. It's more easy going as we don't have to accomodate much to them as they are like us, basically it makes us feel more at ease and comfortable. Birds of the same feathers flock together and that's so true.
Personal:
I feel I've reached the same stage as I was in a couple of years ago. I feel that similar things are on-going on my side. I feel that things may not turn out that smoothly eventually. There are a lot of differences and there are some unhappiness which has never been mentioned. Can it really remain submerged all the way? Or would it be like the magma hiding under the crust of the volcano? I fear for it.
I thought I was ready for it. But some things made me feel otherwise. Can I live with it? Perhaps so, because it seem all so well so far. Will I be happy with it? Perhaps... well.. maybe not.. in the long run.
I think I need time..
A lot of time for myself.. just to sit down and think about nothing..
I haven't been getting that for a long while. Even when I'm alone, my iPhone is accompanying me. never really alone... just like now. Many a times, it is because you don't get enough attention from someone/things, you spend your time searching for it as replacement elsewhere.
Importance:
What is important to me? It is clear to me what are my priorities when it comes to management of time. What is important to you? It doesn't seem that clear to me, and at times it seems it isn't balance. When one puts in 100%, the very least that is expected is 85% I suppose. It can be felt, believe it or not. When it comes naturally or when you need it and then call upon it.
At times I don't know how to talk about it. It's just weird. I've been more vocal at work, but I've become quieter away from work. A tradeoff that just happened?
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
When you start to have doubts and you start to have secrets, it's not healthy. But you realise that you can't really say it out cos who's there to listen to you? It becomes a bit unbearable.
What's left of this blog is also unknown..
Who's actually reading it is also unknown..
What may leak out of here is also unknown.
Life is full of unknown... So what do you know ??
What's left of this blog is also unknown..
Who's actually reading it is also unknown..
What may leak out of here is also unknown.
Life is full of unknown... So what do you know ??
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Hectic
I've been busy... so busy for the past few weeks that I didn't have much time for myself. The week just fly by, and lin has even came back from Shanghai.
Everyday is packed with activities that by the time I go home, it's already 10pm. Honestly, this lifestyle is very draining. I have very little contact with the outside world. Though I'm not those social butterfly that will die without any contact, it is still kinda sad. I am happy to have my own free time to do things or perhaps just stare blankly. After working for 1/2 a year, it made me realise the importance of rest. Especially weekend rest where you can just recharge and do nothing.
My life has been exciting, with constant training and races to go in addition to my tuition and full time work. Am I loading myself with too much activities? I just played a Bridge game over the weekend and it reminded me that I wanted to excel in it.. In every sports, to excel means you need to spend time.. Do I have the time?
I know I've always been saying that time is a perspective. Depends on how you allocate your schedule and time to make it happen. Sacrificing some other things along the way to make it happen is inevitable. For me, it's always sleep... but whta's next after sleep? You can't be compromising on work right? There are other things to worry about right? So how?
The new job scope that I've been given is going to make things worst. It'll be even harder for me to meet friends and I'll be running around everywhere. Experience for my growth? perhaps.. I wonder how much I will be able to learn and whether it's worth it. I just don't like the feeling that I've been made used of. Switch so much things for me, but yet dont' want to adjust my pay. Come on.. you must be kidding. Still ask me to prove it to you, when you are the one that thinks I am up to it, that's precisely why I have this new profile isn't it.. Joke
I have no sense of belonging to the company.. sadly..
Asking me to expand the biz in Penang and Batam, but yet leaving me to fight for myself with minimal help is interesting. Do you really trust me that much that you hand me a branch to manage, just after 4 months? Asking me to talk to big client in Malaysia after just 5 months? and further expanding the OTC biz in Penang after 6 months?
Is it a matter of you have no time to execute what you have in your mind, and I happen to be a cheap labour that can help you start it? Some colleagues tell me that they you think I'm capable enough to do it, that's why I have so much opportunities. Thanks, but I would really appreciate if there is a bit more guidance. Throw me into a pool, and I either swim or drown. With my high adaptibility I would likely survive, but excel? I don't know about that.
I don't feel happy now... I dread what I'm doing for some of the things..
Knowing more about how you handle the customers, it gives me an insight to what you may be thinking when dealing with me as well. Being so sly and tactful when talking to customers, it makes me very wary about what you say. Can I really trust you? Sorry I can't. I'm not so gullible.
I thank you for giving me this opportunity to learn (on myself) and regional exposure. How much I will learn really depends on myself now.. ( since no one is guiding). With the current messy that you two have generated, treating your staffs like chess pieces and reshuffling us to whatever you like, you will not get the best out of us. Especially me... Cos I know that I'm one that needs stability and sense of belonging..
Good luck to your plans. If I'm still around.. I will help out in what I can.. for now..
Everyday is packed with activities that by the time I go home, it's already 10pm. Honestly, this lifestyle is very draining. I have very little contact with the outside world. Though I'm not those social butterfly that will die without any contact, it is still kinda sad. I am happy to have my own free time to do things or perhaps just stare blankly. After working for 1/2 a year, it made me realise the importance of rest. Especially weekend rest where you can just recharge and do nothing.
My life has been exciting, with constant training and races to go in addition to my tuition and full time work. Am I loading myself with too much activities? I just played a Bridge game over the weekend and it reminded me that I wanted to excel in it.. In every sports, to excel means you need to spend time.. Do I have the time?
I know I've always been saying that time is a perspective. Depends on how you allocate your schedule and time to make it happen. Sacrificing some other things along the way to make it happen is inevitable. For me, it's always sleep... but whta's next after sleep? You can't be compromising on work right? There are other things to worry about right? So how?
The new job scope that I've been given is going to make things worst. It'll be even harder for me to meet friends and I'll be running around everywhere. Experience for my growth? perhaps.. I wonder how much I will be able to learn and whether it's worth it. I just don't like the feeling that I've been made used of. Switch so much things for me, but yet dont' want to adjust my pay. Come on.. you must be kidding. Still ask me to prove it to you, when you are the one that thinks I am up to it, that's precisely why I have this new profile isn't it.. Joke
I have no sense of belonging to the company.. sadly..
Asking me to expand the biz in Penang and Batam, but yet leaving me to fight for myself with minimal help is interesting. Do you really trust me that much that you hand me a branch to manage, just after 4 months? Asking me to talk to big client in Malaysia after just 5 months? and further expanding the OTC biz in Penang after 6 months?
Is it a matter of you have no time to execute what you have in your mind, and I happen to be a cheap labour that can help you start it? Some colleagues tell me that they you think I'm capable enough to do it, that's why I have so much opportunities. Thanks, but I would really appreciate if there is a bit more guidance. Throw me into a pool, and I either swim or drown. With my high adaptibility I would likely survive, but excel? I don't know about that.
I don't feel happy now... I dread what I'm doing for some of the things..
Knowing more about how you handle the customers, it gives me an insight to what you may be thinking when dealing with me as well. Being so sly and tactful when talking to customers, it makes me very wary about what you say. Can I really trust you? Sorry I can't. I'm not so gullible.
I thank you for giving me this opportunity to learn (on myself) and regional exposure. How much I will learn really depends on myself now.. ( since no one is guiding). With the current messy that you two have generated, treating your staffs like chess pieces and reshuffling us to whatever you like, you will not get the best out of us. Especially me... Cos I know that I'm one that needs stability and sense of belonging..
Good luck to your plans. If I'm still around.. I will help out in what I can.. for now..
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
How things have changed
It's been 3 weeks and how things have changed. What are the changes? Me myself is surprised by it as well, and to think that Mindy commented about my previous blog post on how I feel i'm stagnating in the current position, it's amazing. So what has been happening?
For the past 2 weeks, I've been at Siemens attending the Hearing care consultant course. (HCC). The course was relatively easy for me as I've been handling relevant things for the past 4months. It gets a bit boring at times due to the repetitive course material I'm exposed to. The course is good in the sense that it refreshes many of the information and it gives me extra confidence when people ask me about the product. The test at the end of it made me stress, as I am expected to score well and some of the colleagues were actually stressing me to top the class. I hope I've done well enough to achieve that. Though it may not be as relevant in my job scope le.
Part of the interesting happening was the Aviva 70.3 in the previous entry. and that was truly an enriching experience for me. It psych me up to take up more races as I simply enjoy the thrill of crossing the finishing line.
I've been told by my boss that I will have a job redeployment and that will include me in different positions. The job title would be Accounts Manager, in-charge of the whole sale accounts of the company in Malaysia, Singapore and Batam. When I go full swing into the job, the job title will be changed to Regional Accounts Manager. This means I will be travelling to and fro Malaysia, Batam and Singapore for the job. In addition to that, I will be doing rounds with the local GPs to get more referrals into our outlets. That means I'm left with 1 day a week in the shop, with 2 days in malaysia, 1/2 day in Batam and 2 days visiting doctors .
This new job profile will give me ample exposure to the regional market and it's a good step forward. Considering that I'm only 6months into the company, I've been given the opportunity to take up such a role, that's simply amazing. The work that I've done has gained recognition and my colleagues agree that I will be capable to take up the new role. The only concern to me now is whether it's worth it. Travelling to and fro will take up a bulk of my time and many other sacrifices will be made too.
Renumeration wise, there's no adjustment at the moment though I did ask for it. Boss only replied " prove to me ". Freaking. Powerful 3 words which silent me. I was thinking haven't I done enough to prove to you such that you have given me this opportunity? Of cos I can't say it out can I ? Anyway, I will just take this opportunity to learn and absorb everything along the way. Learning curve will be steep and there will be many obstacles ahead of me where I will have to overcome.
"Perserve and succeed". Motto for my primary school.
"Nil Sine Labore" Nothing without labour. Motto for VS and VJC.
I welcome the challenge that lies ahead of me ! =)
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