Was reading a book and this story struck me..

A little girl came home from school with a drawing she'd have made in class. She danced into the kitchen, where her mum was preparing dinner.

"Mom, guess what? " she squealed, waving the drawing.

'Her mother never looked up.

"What?" she said, tending to the pots.

"Guess what? " the child repeated, waving the drawing.

"What?" the mother said, tending to the plates.

"Mom, you are not listening."

"Sweetie, yes I am."

"Mom" The child said, " you're not listening with your eyes."

Seriously.. sometimes you don't know to do.. Being honest is the best policy, but there're somethings that may be better off without being told. Not being able to be myself is something I don't like and I hate it. Agree that there are things that we have to compromise to make it better since we can't expect everything to be "in our way", but to what extend ?

I used to ask myself this question pretty often "would it be happier just living alone?" To be fair, there's always two sides of the answer and it really depends on which side you are more inclined towards. Perhaps it's within me that I know I don't like to be restricted and it's just not me if you take away some parts of it isn't it?

I've been trying to stay positive during my work, finding things to do and be productive. Looking at the progress lately, I need motivation and drive and some other things to spur me on.. Where are those factors? When all else fails, you can only fall back on something that you know will never fail you... that's yourself.. which is why I'm focusing my energy and time back into training... It will consume tons of time and the process is painful, but I know I will enjoy the outcome eventually. It will take many things off my mind at the same time, giving myself a peace of mind.

Is that the reason why I'm actually introverted in nature? I don't think anybody will believe that.. personally, I'm introverted and the extrovert things that I'm doing are what I can do, but not something that I like.. Noting that the sports that I enjoy, i.e. Pool, Diving, Ironman are all individual sports and that gives me ample time to be alone just enjoying what I'm doing..

I enjoy the peace,
I enjoy the nature,
I enjoy being myself..

It's being one more week of work and it's already the third week. It's fast. How much have I learnt? Well, I would say the progress has been slowed down considerably and that's inevitable. Just like a reaction curve, the initial progress is always fast as there are a lot of substrates and high frequency collision will occur. As the reaction proceeds, lesser collision and slower reaction. I'm reaching that stage, and what's left is for me to go for the SIEMENS hearing consultation course to know more, before I can be certified.

Hanging ard in the office for the time being, going out to help out in certain events at time has given me some valuable experiences. However, I don't really like the feeling of acting as a receptionist. When I do shift to the branch at East point, I will be responsible for the recep counter as well, since it's a 2-man team. We'll each have to handle most of the stuffs ourselves. I don't think I'll have any problem with that.. honestly, I don't think you need a Uni grad to do that job, and if you think it's that tough with so many things to learn, you are underestimating me. I don't like the nature of being a recep, and I hope I won't have to deal with too much of it. If not that may be the last straw for me.

Being green at a location, you have to be humble and attentive to the details, as you are supposed to be learning. What if you have opinions and you notice something wrong/ can be improved? Do you go ahead and inform them, or just leave it as it is, since they are "seniors", Some respects need to be given? I believe in a level platform, where anybody has a voice to speak as long as it's valid. But workplace is workplace, not my home and I will have to be more careful and be politically sensitive with regards to such situations. I won't stay at this office for long, just have to keep going, until I head out to my perm location in east point.

Using the spare time I have to do admin stuff, like finding out on CPF loans, housing, Triathlon, Australia, and of cos not forgetting reading up on hearing related materials. It is pretty good in that aspect that I have time to do those things, but I want something to keep me on my feet more often. I need something challenging and analytical..

No time for Training recently and I had to force myself to go running at 10pm yesterday after one full day of work and tuition at night. I was tired, but just have to do it... and many a times, it's just a matter of whether you want to.. I'm left with 2 months to train for SCSM, mileage has to increase exponentially if not I'm so screwed. How am I going to squeeze in time to swim/cycle? I guess I'll find a way to. Still aiming for a full Ironman next yr, although I think it may be better for a half first and save some money to upgrade to a tri-bike before I do so.

If there's a will there's a way.

Will is like a muscle, the more you use it, the stronger it becomes.

I totally agree and feel for this phrase, and I will live to internalise within me.

A week at work

It's being a week at work, and I'm dying... 9.30-6.30pm, then tuition after that for tues, wed, thurs.. Fri go out.. sat sun, also out whole day.. It's a bit de tiring.. Totally no time to train/run, and i'm faaaaattttt.. =(

Just a few days at work and I've learnt quite a bit of things, got a better understanding about what I'm actually going to do. Partly Consultation/ partly sales. With more on advicing the customer on what to do and recommending them steps to improve the condition, while in any job money is involved, sales bring in the money, and that's what you need to do well in if not you are an liability to the company. There's still much more for me to learn, and I've seen how some of my colleague close cases, and how they go about handling different type of customers, it makes me wonder what type of person I would be. Everybody has their style and I'm one that prefers transparency and honesty. I cant' do anything that goes against my own heart.

I don't like how one of them recommends products, not giving the customer a fully informed choice, it will reflect badly on the company in the long run.. To survive long, reputation is important for any company and I don't agree with what she does.

Going through the work for a week, I've more or less grasp what I need to know about how the company function, but I'm still in training, without the proper course required to certify me. Hoping that it'll come fast, so that I can get down to work. I'm getting a bit bored le. Doubt it can keep me entertained for so long. Perhaps give me a year, I would be looking for a more challenging job which will keep me on my feet all the time. Nevertheless, I will learn what I can and make the best out of it. Working within a small company is good in the sense that you will be involved in a lot of things, and you will get a lot of exp in other aspects.

I'll push on, and make good use of my time here. I believe that there's always something for you to learn, as long as you open your eyes and mind to it. =)

I've accepted the job offer, and I'll be working as a hearing consultant starting from next tuesday with The hearing Solution. It took me quite a while to decide whether to accept it and after much delibrated thinking, I took up the offer and at once, I felt relieved.

Perhaps it's the thought that I've finally found a job which I am willing to accept and it seems quite exciting to engage in such a field. Makes me wonder what will the nature of the job be like and would I excel in it, or will I just leave after a while. I guess I will have to try it out .

It's Sept, and soon tuitions will stop... my 6 tuition kids, how many will I drop by this yr. the two sec 4s, will definitely go, so that's 4 left, three sec 2, and one sec 1. It'll be difficult to decide. Cos to balance my precious weekend with money earning opportunities won't be easy.

To accept or not.

I'm face with a big decision.. Whether to accept the job offer on hand by The hearing solution company. Many pressing issues are making me worry about the prospect of the job, where can I go after this?
What do I see myself in a few yrs time ?
What career transition can I make ?
Will I be okay to deal with Clients/patients ?
Will it be the same as how I felt for tuition ? ( hate it initially, but grew to love it )
Will I enjoy the work ?
Have I been overestimating myself ?
What am I really capable of ?
Should I just take up this offer and see how it goes ?
Should I apply for a temp job in the banking industry, and hopefully I'll find it okay ?

There are so many queries floating ard in my head, and it just seems to get more complicated. For the past 2 weeks, I've been heading to restaurants and pubs alone, sitting there in the middle of the day drinking beer and eating steaks by myself; pondering what lies ahead of me. Ppl say the midlife crisis will have that, but I've not even started my career !!

On the other hand, I've got equal no. of frens asking me to take up this job offer and see how it goes, while some recommend me to wait longer and get into some bigger MNC, cos they feel this company will be too small for me to grow. Which side is actually correct ? I don't think there's any real answer to that, cos every chance is an opportunity and you never know what lies ahead of you until you walk down the path yourself.

The attitude in work makes a lot of difference, and for the initial part, that's the most important of all. Will I succeed in the long run, and get better opportunity along the way, well.. it all depends on something called the LUCK.

Life goes on

It's being 2 months since I graduated.. and that means I'm 2 months unemployed. I've been sourcing around for the financial sector, but all that has generated has been financial consultants and bogus claiming financial institutes. It is really that difficult to get into a field with no relevance exp and degree nor expertise. Writing a cover letter and explaining the interest doesn't seem to even get the HR ppl interested. With a decent background, I don't stand a chance against those better performers.

I've always thought that with the correct attitude and drive, I will be able to succeed and overcome those obstacles.. I guess I'm wrong, cos first impression counts and there are so many ppl out there with impressive CVs, why would they even consider me? No interview chance means no chance at all. The choice to slack off a bit in Uni has returned to haunt me, but I guess that's a trade off and choice I made previously when deciding that I need to have the tuition to finance myself. I may not be where I am now if I didn't teach tuition. Indeed it was tough to manage so many sessions of tuitions together with studies and other stuffs, it has taught me several things.

Becoming a bit demoralised about the financial sector, and thus opening up more options of career to myself. Is it what i really wanted to do in the health/pharmaceutical industry? Ben was telling me that day that maybe I should just try out and see if I'm really suited for it. I agree, cos what we feel that we may be good at, may be just an illusion, where we are actually better off elsewhere in another field. The truth is that sometimes you look at the job, and you will realise that it'll lead you to no where, but just enough money to feed the never ending bills, housing loans etc. Is there any other alternative that you can take ? Are you willing to give it a shot even though it may be a very big gamble ? With our current society, most ppl will be weary of it and thus stucked in that shitty job for long..

To be successful, you have to be the difference.. If not you will just be like all the rest, inseparable and indistinguishable.