Went to NUS this morning to take the QET. Was looking at the A level grades for our batch, and I’m easily among the last 20% of the cohort in VJ. Looking at the no. of people taking it, I don’t feel that bad for once. Not that that’s something to be happy about, cos my Eng is unarguably weak, as least I know I don’t stand so far behind the rest of the population.
The feeling of walking into the exam hall seems so unfamiliar. A long lost feeling which was last felt only in Nov 04, when taking the A level. A 2.5 yrs break. Though could say that there were some forms of tests here and there when I was going through the cadet course, the feeling is just different.
This is the first time I felt so unprepared for any test taken. I’ve seen the sample before. But that was 3 months ago, told myself that I’ll prepare for it, so that I can pass the QET, but that only sustain for 2 weeks. So everything was long gone in my mind. I went into the exam hall with ONLY 1 blue pen. No other stationeries or any other things. Then did I realise I didn’t even bring the NRIC to prove my ID. Went to take my wallet which was left by the side of the MPSH, and by the time I was walking back to my seat, everyone was seated. I was the only soul walking down the rows. A funny feeling, with everybody staring at me. And to think they are going to be my future faculty mates… I was inevitably looking around, hoping to see more familiar faces and hopefully some pretty faces. Sadly, I couldn’t find any… Could only console myself by saying that those who I know and prettier score B4 and better. (Crossing my fingers).
Took this test without much stress, though it’ll make a difference between taking 1 extra module or the whole of sem 1. But I know that it won’t matter to my overall grades, so didn’t really bother about it. Moreover, heard many ppl commenting that its random marking. So don’t think it really matter that much no matter how well I do in it.
Was looking at some of my friends who have gone to the orientation camps, their cheerful faces when coming to see some friends they have just recently. Normally, I would be interested to know how did their camps go and was there any interesting things that happened, and in most cases, would join their group to know more people. But no. I didn’t ask anything. Perhaps that’s because I wasn’t interested in it anymore. Was once excited to enter university with all the prospective of a more vibrant and lively lifestyle. I seem to have lost that flame. Once the dilemma regarding whether to stay in hall came about, I knew that I’m already having second thoughts. It was the beginning, and when it was confirmed that I didn’t get it, I just went with the flow, not appealing for it, choosing to lead a quiet and simple Uni life instead.
The thoughts of it seem so familiar. Just like what I’ve been doing when I was in sec 1-3. Going to school everyday, attending what is required and go home after that. Choosing to do my own things at my own time without people knowing. Some friends have recently commented this “ zhiyuan, what happened to you? Where’s that ever cheerful, happy go lucky you ? “ I could only reply them with a smile. Whatever the case is in Uni, I only have one aim, that’s to get my degree.
Went to National heart centre in the afternoon, after a 3 months wait. Only to be cleared by the cardiologist that I’ve no heart mur mur and I’m discharged with no re-appt required. Only did a ECG, which detects irregular heartbeat and tried listening to my heart for any irregularities. Didn’t ever attempt to use do a stress test or a ECHO test, for which most of my problem arises upon strenuous activities. Nevertheless, he’s still the professional, have to trust his diagnosis, but will still take note of my own condition, as no one knows better how I feel other than myself.
Went to Clementi Mac around 3.30pm, to wait for tuition that’s at 7.30pm. First time I full understand the benefits of having a laptop with WLAN services. I was playing bridge with my JC partner for 2 hrs, effectively killing the long waiting hours.
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