Many things and thoughts have flowed through me, but hadn't had much time to pen it down.. Reaching home late everyday only to sleep and not much time to do other things. hmm... where shall I begin.

Last fri was COT Chalet.. after 2months of waiting, it was finally here. Long long time since we last met up together as one whole group. Thanks all for being there, and my apologies for the lack of some food.. especially to mindy. Ps.. The charcoal used wasn't good. It just can't maintain red and hot. giving us a hard time cooking our food. The variety present, isn't alot, still got several things missing from what I like, but with a small grp, the food that should be prepared is limited. Anyway, we had a little talk in the room after we cleared up everything. kk was telling us abt astrology and zodiac stuffs. gave me a better understanding to what the TV show usual means when they say those chim chim stuff. Hope everyone had fun there.. =)

On sat, my uncle past away. Received an sms from my sis telling me that he's struggling, may not be able to last much longer. rushed down to his place. It was one of his last wish to go home.. and he did. The least that could be done was to send him back there. he was already unconscious, and unable to move. upon reaching home, he opened his eyes Once, and a drop of tears was seen flowing down his cheek. And that was the last time he opened his eyes.

Many of the relatives were there.. all know that it's about time, just waiting for the time.. He was surviving on oxygen tanks for the last leg of his life, with his muscles totally unable to function, he can't breathe without aid. 2 oxygen tanks were rented, and that lasted him for nearly 3hrs... When the oxygen ran out.. it was obvious to all.. cos the pulse detector beeped loudly and VERY fast.. His pulse was going at 190/min. That's super fast, considering the resting pulse was initially 50 That carried on for a few mins before we suddenly hear a long beep.. The pulse monitor reads 0... and all of us witness him gasping his last few moments. yes, we could have just continued to supply him with more oxy, but that doesn't help, cos we know that he's suffering le. The cancer demon has totally taken over his body and perhaps it's in the better interest to let him go.. The feeling of knowing that you could have prolonged someone's life by supplying him oxy, and choosing not to do so because of other reasons, isn't exactly a very nice choice to make.

Diagnosed with Duodenal ulcer 3months ago, it was a little too fast to react. That was just the beginning, cos it soon led to the finding of 4th stage cancer at the pancreas. The situation wasn't help by the doctors at CGH, as it took 3weeks for the report to be out. As as all knows, cancer spreads like wildfire.. and just a few cm away is our liver. that got affected as well. From the date that he was sent to hospital cos he can't withstand the pain any longer to the date he lost the battle, it was just 3months and 1 day. really short.. To think that he was still thinking of going through Chemo last wed.. It shows how much he wants to survive and hopes to live..

The wake has been held over the past few days, and it has brought the family together. Having come from a big family, it is heartening to note how all of them try to be a part of the whole thing, taking shifts just to be there. At the same time, it brought me much issues and challenges as well. Those shall not be mentioned now..

In memories of my uncle.. Who has some how or rather past by my life as a person who is humourous, generous, and " jiang yi qi "