A usual day in school today, with everything going as per normal... The only thing that was worth mentioning was the Tuition that followed after that... Was marking my students paper.. Initially was still quite okay.. Primarily because that paper was quite easy, so she did fairly ok. Then come the second paper, Which she was suppose to finish before hand... IT was atrocious. Full of careless mistakes and blanks. I finally blew my top, and had to give her a piece of my mind. Really fed-up with the effort that's being put in for math. Knowing that she's weaker in Math, I tried to give her more practise, but she's not really doing it. and the effect is shown by the work that's she giving me... Being myself, a rather perfectionist, I demand the same standard that I give myself from her. Expecting her to do better than that. Arhz... Hopefully whatever I said, had Drilled into her brain, at least a little would be suffice.
On the way back.. I was asking myself.. Why am I working so hard for? Studying and teaching tuition at the same time, and prior to this, studied so hard to get into Uni. All these just to get a degree, so that I can find a job in the future ? What I'm doing now, Is it worth it ? DOn't think this can be answered till I get my degree. Yesterday, my mum was telling my sis that she felt rather lucky that she don't need to be bothered about both our uni expenses, since we are both independent.
My sis, cos she took on the MOE scholarship, plus some tuition, she was able to bring home a reasonable amt of allowance and pay per month. As for me, I forced myself to teach tuition, so that I don't need to take any money from parents. Its really awkward for me to ask for any, considering that its being 3 yrs plus, nearly 4, that I've not taken any unnecessary money from them. Some friends in sch , that know that I'm earning ~$500 a month, commented" wa... rich liao lar.. " Sometimes really feel like smacking them in the head... They just take the allowance from their parents, and after school, just go back to do whatever they want. Though some take only about $300-$400, STILL.. they did nothing to earn that and they are complaining.. Wth. Perhaps should put them in my shoes, to make them understand what I'm going through. Its a trade off for time for personal space, recreation, and studying time.
On a lighter note.. Ervin was asking me whether there's anything going on between Ashley and me, There's nothing going on at all.. Just being friends ba. She's sporty, caring and fun going. Which makes it all the more comfortable to hang out with her... Though she did attract me a bit, but I feel there's something missing..
I've been looking around at the girls in Science. Guess I'm more or less emotionally stable enough to start something afresh.. Saw a few that catches my eye de... But looking at my own schedule, I don't see anyway I can fit it in at the moment. Unless of cos, at the expense of my 2 CCAs. No idea whether I really want that. though I know personally, I'm one that would prefer to have someone "looking after " or perhaps should say, "supporting and loving me". Its the emo part of me which is yet to be filled up. Y did I think of all these? cos I realise that I'm not exactly happy at the moment, although I've been doing some things that I normally like.. I know something is missing some where... and I guess this may be it... But who will be the one that can help complete my puzzle? That's yet to be found.
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