The day didn't start well actually. I only slept at 1.15am, due to the reluctance to sleep, and I was waken up by my Aunt's call at 2am. She called to ask if I still want to borrow the car for the run later. Lolx... 2am, when I'm right in the middle of my short 3hrs sleep. Though I wasn't really awake, I still agreed, and somehow manage to drive back by 2.30am with my mind not really sane. Took a short nap, before waking up at 4.15am to prepare for the run. Left house a bit late, due to wearing of contacts. Its always a problem whenever I wear contacts early in the morning... Cos my eyes are small.. plus the sleepy morning, it just makes it even smaller and harder to put it in. haha... What to do... small eyes has its disadvantage.
Chiong there asap, but was turned back at Nicoll Highway at 4.59am. The road closure starts from 5am actually. but the TP refused to let me past. Damn. the car infront of me manage to go thru.. !@#$%$#@! . had to make a big loop back, and thus I got to the venue a bit late. Flag off is at 5.30am, I reached there at 5.25am. Still had to find Ervin, to put down some of my things.
Started the race at 5.42am, 12min later. And supposingly should be running together with Ervin, but I started off rather fast, and I lost him within the first 1km. Lolx.. With an aim in mind, roughly 6min/km. I paced myself carefully for it. only to find out that I've been going at a pace of abt 5min 20 sec. Upon reaching 10km mark, the timing was 54.50. Reasonable enough, and I decided to chiong 11km under an hour, so that leaves with 10km for the next hour. My pace wasn't really consistent due to the heavy human traffic flow. Had to mingle and squeeze my way thorugh. Hate it when I start too late. That's what happens.
I hit the wall when I reach 17km mark. My mind keeps telling me to stop running, and start walking. I've been running alone all the while, and when this type of things happen, its either I win the battle and carry on running, or the devil wins the battle and I start walking. I had to mentally psycho myself, using phrases like " There's no one else other than myself that can pushes me. Its all in the mind that I Will succeed. And I just kept going, counting down each individual KM, as my body is aching with pain. Mentally keeping myself in the race, while letting my eyes float around, staring blankly into the scenaries and just keep running. Till the last KM, I hit the toughest challenge. That is my body is starting to shut down. The exception level of gastric juice in my stomach made me almost vomitted out. My heart was pounding and my legs were trembling, the rhythm some how went out of order and I just kept coughing and coughing and coughing, losing my breathe. If I were to carry on with that pace, with the lack of oxygen ( cos I was frantically coughing ). I'm sure I would end up fainting by the side. Cos I experience moments of darkness infront of me for a period of time. So I had no choice but to slow down to catch my breathe and to ensure that I can finish the race in a piece.
So my last 1km ended in 7.38min. The slowest km that I clock for the entire race, explains and shows the amount of pain I was facing. All in all, I finished the race in 1h 55min. A good experience I would say.
Some distance Seems a bit ambigious. cos I don't think I ran that fast. e.g. lap 7-8, and lap 15. Even my 1km run up the Sheares bridge is faster than my last Km.. Zzz....
(Clocked this using my Timex 50-lap memory Ironman training watch. It came in handy..Yeah.)
_______________________________________________________
While talking to Teckwei just now, found out that Bj has since been attached to Leonard, ( Who I've long suspected that he has to play a part, plus my sis witnessing it. ). This was more of a confirmation rather than a shocking news. Cos he studies in the same course as her. And this make me realise that i've been kept in the dark for so bloody long. When I asked her some times back in june whether she's together with him, she don't dare to admit it.. What to do. being ditch in such an awful manner... reason given " I want to see if life without you would be better" WTF. Wat a hurtful reason. how bloody cruel can that be...
Come to think of it, its a lame excuse, cos apparently she already has him in mind. to get together within 3 months of breakup from a 4 yrs relationship, just shows what type of person she is. Told karen about it, and she tell me that every fall I'll learn to become stronger and learn something different. I agree..
It doesn't pay to be nice, cos there are too many bastards and bitches around that screwes it up.
My Sis said that I'm mentally strong, and I should be able to cope with it. Yes, I would say my mental strength is stronger than a lot of ppl, and thus I've not really shown anybody my weaker side, cos I'm still handling it well. Just that when you compare Emotions with mental strength, its different. I'm a emotionally weaker person. This is one area where I think I lose out ba. and I've got no idea how to make it stronger...
No comments:
Post a Comment